Elephant Stew

Cut the elephant into bite sized chunks. This will take about two months. Cut the vegetables into cubes (another two months) Place the meat in a pot and cover with 4 547 Litres of gravy. Simmer for four weeks. Shovel in the salt and pepper (a steam shovel is useful for this). When the meat is tender, add the vegetables. Simmer slowly for another four weeks. Garnish with the parsley. Serves 3 800 people, if more guests are expected, add the two rabbits. However, this is not really recommended, because very few people like a hare in the stew! ANON (Source unknown)